When I was on the premises of adolescence, I used to think everybody around me was the bad guy while I was the good guy. How is this news? Aren’t adolescents all over the world notorious for that? I remember constantly being disappointed and frustrated with my friends whenever they would act in a way I thought was insensitive or derogatory. As a matter of fact, they were no longer my friends at that particular point. It was just me VS them. The good guy VS the bad guys. The loyal friend VS the ungrateful people. Not friends, people.
After that realization, I would usually take a few steps back for a while, removing myself from the uncomfortable situation, but I would eventually run full speed back into it (this sounded way less dramatic in my head). Remember, I told you I was the loyal one. I was good at it back then. Really good. I even got a master’s degree in it. For as long as I can remember, I enjoyed playing that part and I still do … occasionally. The only difference between then and now is that I have learned one thing or two along the way. Don’t we all as we grow older?
I truly believe that the person who proclaimed the use of the phrase « it takes two to tango » in a figurative way was a genius but I digress. Well, not that much actually and I am going to explain why. According to the Cambridge dictionary (yes, I am the kind of person who likes to refer to the Cambridge dictionary every now and then), that phrase is used « when you want to emphasize that an activity needs two people who are willing to take part for it to happen ». I am sure you can already see where I am going with this, can’t you? However, I am going to pretend you are all blind and continue. It took me long enough to process this phrase and apply it to my own relationships so I am going to share it, come hell or high water.
The thing about friendship, I believe, is that just like a marriage you have to see it as a commitment. A powerful one. Not just something you can toss around whenever it does no longer stimulate you. I have learned to really think it through before start calling somebody my friend or approve of them referring to me as their friend. To be someone’s friend means that as long as you are riding the same boat, you are committed to each other. It means that you will be there and make time for each other. It means that you will return each other’s phone calls. It means that you will respect each other. It means that you will not talk about each other in a way that will consist in diminishing one another but instead, you will celebrate one another. It means that you will assist each other mentally, emotionally, physically, financially (if possible) and not just when it’s convenient but whenever it is needed.
Now, why on earth would you resent someone who did not know how to do any of these things for you? Is it their fault if you chose to invest your time and energy in committing to them when clearly they did not want such a thing to begin with? Remember, It takes two to tango, not one. Next time, consider your options before committing. Allow yourself to be picky and chose wisely. You deserve it.